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funny business

I've been thinking about humor.

I really appreciate people who can make me laugh.

Being funny is a gift and an art.

Sitting alone with my husband one night I looked over at him and said, "I am not funny." To which Drew said, "Huh?" and then he loked at me with a pitying look and continued, "Lets just say that of the two of us, you're the serious one. But you sure know how to laugh at things that are funny."

I really wish I was funny. Once in a blue moon something will come out of my mouth that is truly, smartly funny. And it always surprises me. More often than not I keep my mouth shut and let the really funny people do their thing, because usually when I try comedy I fall hard.

There are different kinds of funny. Off the top of my head I can think of slapstick, wit, sarcasm... hmm.. there's gotta be more. what's your favorite funny?

I love wit. It takes thought, timing... I cant stand sarcasm. It's like cheap humor. Anybody can do sarcasm. Heck, even I could do sarcasm. Good slapstick usually gets laughs out of me too - but then i feel mean: sitting comfortably, laughing at someone elses misfortune.

But as my Love pointed out I can laugh. I love to laugh, it is so good for us, you know? More often than not I find myself laughing much louder than anyone else in the room, and I quickly turn down the volume and think, "Gosh! How long was I laughing so obnoxiously loud? Does it sound that loud to everyone else? Why doesnt someone ever tell me to shut my trap?"

I guess I must have good friends. And thank God so many of them are funny, otherwise Ms.Serious here would shrivel up from humor deprivation.

happy to have internet again.

Chapter One

I have this problem when I begin to think about too many big things at once. The issues start to swirl around and around in my head and make me a bit dizzy. The most successful cure I’ve found for this ailment is to sit down and write down all those thoughts. Somehow, the act of moving my pen (or fingers if I’m typing,) moves the swirling matters out of my aching head and onto the paper/screen. It’s miraculous.

As of late, my mind has been swirling like crazy, and if I don’t get some serious blog therapy, I’m gonna get sea-saw sick.

I’ve been thinking about Moses today.

Moses had a difficult assignment. It was unpleasant I am sure: free the Israelites from Egypt’s grip, then lead the whiny bunch to a promised land. He was so sure his job was too big for him; he tried to talk God out of choosing him at first. I am sure it was a heavy burden to bear. But oh the reward! I cannot imagine being on a mountaintop face to face with my Lord. He endured some rough times, because God had a purpose that needed to be fulfilled.

I walked out of the house this morning, on my way to class, with a heavy heart. I did not want to leave my husband who had a late start at work today. Amazingly, I did not want to leave my crazy messy, and yes, even DIRTY thing that my house has become this semester. I wanted o stay home and do nothing with my husband. Just sit on the couch in his arms, quietly. I waned to really scrub my kitchen, and vacuum my dining room.

I do not like school right now. I know. I can’t believe I am saying it either. It is not because of the school itself though. I love how alive and challenged I feel while I’m sitting in class. I get excited while taking notes on something I’ve learned for the first time.

What bothers me is all the things I’m missing out on because I’m in class or doing homework so much. Time with my husband and time to clean. This semester more so than last semester, I feel like a failure as a mother/friend/spouse/sister/daughter. I have barely picked up the phone to call ANYone since January. Part of me feels that this turning inward was due to selfishness. Part of me thinks it was self-preservation – doing what I could to remain mostly sane and maintain some kind of almost normal life, and hoping my loved ones will understand my short time of silence.

It is hard to feel like a good mother when I am not doing things I used to. I am sad that I am not with my kids as much as I want. I have to believe that things will turn out okay. I am definitely considering slowing down a bit though. Possibly taking only one class in the fall. Is it wimping out? I don’t think so. I think it is being real about what is important. If nothing else, (although there’s lots else,) this year has shown me that my organizational and motivational habits need improvement. One class would still stretch me, but hopefully leave room for a little bit of normalcy for my family and me.

I do not have the same task as Moses, fortunately. But my task is difficult just the same. I am called to be out of debt, to be free from slavery. The road to freedom for me is paved not with plagues, but with books, homework and tests. I know I am doing the right thing, but I am in the middle of the not very fun part right now. It has been hard for me to see God’s face shining down on me through some thick clouds these past couple of weeks. Everywhere I turn, I see areas where I am not making the cut. I truly believe that it is good for Christians to push to accomplish more than they can by themselves, because this is when God has to step in and help – and then He gets to reap in all due glory and praise. This is a good thing. Having faith to reach out and grab whatever task He wants for us, especially when it is something we cannot possibly accomplish on our own.

I cannot stop praising my father in heaven that I have been given enough grace to accomlpish the task set before me. I know this season will be difficult, but I know that it is just that: a season. I can see already that will come out on the other side a changed woman, and for that I am grateful.

When I am feeling so pressed, I know there is One who saves me. Another incredible part of pushing further than what is comfortable, is that it pushes us to be so dependant on Christ, for strength enough to stand. Truly, writing my thoughts down on paper may relieve my headache for a moment, but it is Christ who replaces the headache with peace. When I am weak, then He is strong, then I am dependant on him for my every breath. He knows this. He longs for me to stay with him throughout my day. To give up food for a time to remind myself of his goodness and strength that more than compensate for my shortcomings. Truly I serve a good God.

Psalm 32:67 “Therefore let everyone who is Godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; you will proet me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

Psalm 1:2 “But his/(her) delight is in the law of the lard, and on his law (s)he meditates day and night. (s)He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever (s)he does prospers.”

Book Review: Critical Condition

My Assignment for 3/12: Post your book review written for this class somewhere on-line. Print copy of the posting. Include in your portfolio.

America’s Health Care System Is Overdue for a Check-Up:
A Review of Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele’s Book Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine

Mason McIlnay was a kindergartner living in Salem, Oregon. Leg aches began to plague him, and doctors soon discovered he had a serious childhood cancer called neuroblastoma. Mason was very sick, and nothing saddens the heart more than hearing about a sick child. He needed immediate treatment. Unfortunately, Mason’s family falls among the masses of 43 million uninsured Americans, an estimate agreed upon by experts.

Mason’s mother held the mother-of-all garage sales with the hopes of bringing in enough money to pay the tens of thousands of dollars they owed for his treatments. She made enough profit to put a dent in the mountain of debt she had been carrying, but not enough to lift the entire weight off her tired shoulders. She must continue to make huge payments for years to come. This is one of many heart-breaking stories found in Donald L. Barlett and James B. Steele’s latest book, Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine (Doubleday, 2004, 304 pgs.) These in-your-face accounts of despair force readers to consider how this supposedly great country could abandon so many needy and sick Americans.

Critical Condition is a reproachful analysis of America’s health care system and the damaging attempt to improve health care in America by using a market-based approach. Barlett and Steele write, “What does it say about the richest country on earth that its citizens must depend on raffles and spaghetti dinners to pay the medical bills – a situation that exists in no other civilized country?”(12). Critical Condition goes on to explain, America’s health care costs more than any other country’s: 15 percent of gross domestic product in 2003. Yet, when comparing lifespan in terms of years of healthy living, Americans rank 29th among nations – between Slovenia and Portugal. “In sum, Americans pay for a Hummer but get a Ford Escort,” writes Barlett and Steele (13). Sadly, they do not get around to offering a solution until the last fifteen pages of the book. This latest collaboration by the authors effectively shows how America’s health care is failing miserably, but without much attention given to possible solutions, readers are left feeling hopeless.

This bleak examination of America’s health care is the seventh book by the Pulitzer prize-winning investigative team. These men have been working together for over thirty years: first at the Philadelphia Inquirer, then at Time magazine, and now at Vanity Fair. (barlettandsteele.com). They are the authors of the 1992 book America: What Went Wrong, an analysis of the apparent trend toward a middle class decline, which spent eight months on the New York Times bestseller list. Describing Barlett and Steele’s approach in America: What Went Wrong, Remesh Ponnuru commented in the National Review that the authors prefer “to tell economic history as a morality play, with venal politicians and greedy, short-sighted CEOs ganging up on working stiffs.” Story-telling is an effective method of selling an idea, and seems to be a favored approach of the authors in many of their works. Working together for so many years has obviously refined their teamwork and deepened their investigative ability. Barlett and Steele are experienced in digging deep to discover things the average American citizen would not likely find otherwise.

Barlett and Steele provide plenty of true stories to demonstrate their points, to help readers relate and perhaps even be moved to compassion. Like the story of Jack and Donna Brown. Donna, a waitress, was uninsured but needed colon surgery. Her hospital bill was a whopping $57,000 that she just could not pay. The hospital sued, and she lost her home. The authors then follow a horrific story such as this with strong supporting evidence of the problem at hand.
Without fail, Barlett and Steele provide gripping evidence that proves the truly critical condition of our health care system. Barlett and Steele state, “Nearly one of every three dollars now spent on health care goes for administration” (170). The book explains that American consumers pay more for fewer benefits while contending with a lack of choice in providers and prices. Frustrated patients and Physicians are dealing with billing chaos and confusion caused by the excessive number of health plans. To increase profit, providers overcharge the uninsured and limit hospital stays with overly restrictive guidelines. Pressured hospitals dangerously cut costs by cutting number of staff and supplies and reducing sterilization. Undertrained and overworked nurses make frightening mistakes. The media contributes to the problem as well, Barlett and Steel suggest, by urging people to undergo countless unnecessary tests and causing an overuse of the system, which drives up prices. Pharmaceutical giants push off-label prescriptions (untested combinations of tested drugs like the infamous fenphen) and the FDA has suspiciously slow response times to side-affect concerns. HMO and hospital chain CEO’s seem to care more about the bottom line and their own lavish lifestyles than they do about the lives of their fellow American citizens. And all this madness is because, Barlett and Steele propose, in the end anyone who has any power in this crazy system ultimately chooses their pocketbook over morality. “At best it’s a costly and wasteful system that siphons off precious health care dollars. At worst, it causes injury and death” (159). Page after page, chapter after chapter, the authors give shocking examples of the system’s complete failure.

Aptly included in the title, Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine, are the words “big business and bad medicine” – an unfortunate combination for American citizens. In Critical Condition, Barlett and Steele explain that corporate decisions at a marketing company, for example, “may have economic consequences affecting the paychecks, dividends, or stock options of workers, executives and investors.” However, “the same decisions in a health care company are matters of life and death” (154). The book’s title effectively echoes this belief.

Critical Condition is written for not only politicians and physicians (though they should absolutely read it) but for average American health care consumers. Their writing style is easy for those average citizens to understand and achieves the authors’ desired response: won over by the authors’ persuasiveness, rallied proponents are ready for change – although readers may not realize they have not been given all the information they need. In the conservative-leaning Newsweek magazine, Robert J. Samuelson states that Barlett and Steele tend to “report matters so selectively – with so little attention to conflicting evidence or any larger context – that ordinary readers are misled.” Surely the authors are not trying to mislead, but the selective nature with which they offer information fails to fully equip average readers who are attempting to shape informed opinions.

The authority with which Barlett and Steele present their case against a market approach to care comes from the depth to which they have researched this topic. Critical Condition is full of facts and studies with seven pages of sources at the end. Marie D. Jones writes in her review of the book for curledup.com, “All of the shocking information in this tragic, but utterly critical book points to one thing. We are on the verge of a major disaster here in the United States, a disaster that will cripple our economy and leave millions ill and without proper care.” The plethora of facts is almost dizzying, and because so little conflicting evidence is presented, the many facts sway readers that what is being read is God’s truth.

So what are readers to do with all this information – demand change from the country’s leaders? Okay, but what kind of change? Barlett and Steele propose a single payer system (read: universal health care coverage) to correct all of this. Readers may find that this book pushes them to elect leaders who have health care reform as a top priority. Reading Critical Condition will cause one to believe that conservatives and other opponents to universalized care simply do not realize that adopting universal coverage would not be a radical move for America. “We already have universal health care for everybody aged sixty-five and over: It’s called Medicare” (138). According to the authors, universal coverage would not mean communist medicine either; rather it would bring American citizens up to par with the other industrial countries and their dedication to providing good health to all people. Jocelyn Chao said it well, albeit through sarcasm, in her editorial on universal health care for The Onion, “What will they tell us next – that everyone deserves a free public education and the ‘right’ to a fair trial?” Americans who believe all people are created equal may conclude that providing universal coverage to all is a very worthwhile goal for America.

Sounds great, except how exactly does that work again? The plan recommended in Critical Condition seems intangible. The short 15-page final chapter devoted to the Author’s solution titled “Remedy” falls short of expectations. Bruce P. Hurter M.D. writes for Psychiatric Services, “Critical Condition is particularly strong in its presentation and documentation of the ‘costs’ of modern medicine,” but it “less clearly presents a framework for remedy” (Hurter). Barlett and Steele mention other countries that benefit from single-payer systems, and an overview of how Canada, Sweden or Japan run their health care programs could have provided some needed clarity. A chapter devoted to examining a working universal health care system could have painted a picture for readers of how it might also work for America. Had they included more support to their claims, Barlett and Steele could have pushed readers from thinking, “Hmm… sounds interesting,” to crying out, “What are we waiting for?”

Despite a weak close, Barlett and Steele have done an outstanding job at presenting their case against America’s Health Care system. Critical Condition: How Health Care in America Became Big Business – and Bad Medicine thoroughly convinces readers of the grave shortcomings of the current system. In the end, Critical Condition is a book full of frightening health care horror stories with no happy ending in sight. Sweet Dreams.

Tell of His goodness

Our pastor is a man I deeply respect. He walks with God in a way I have seen in very few people throughout my life. Our church has a time of testimonies every week - when people tell of the good things God has done, and a week ago, Pastor Mike asked Andrew if he and I would share a testimony the following Sunday. After some thought, and preparation, we did just that a few days ago. Andrew shared first, then me. The response was overwhelming. And I haven't stopped thinking about it since. Writing out a testimony is a very spiritual experience and I cannot help but get shaken up every time I read it. What follows is my portion of our testimony:

"I’ll start my story a few years ago. Andrew and I were leading a fairly comfortable life. We had two kids and a mortgage. We attended church regularly, and were involved with the youth and/or music ministries.

However, I began to develop issues of unforgiveness – I was judging others who, ironically, I felt were judging me unfairly. Going to church was no longer an enjoyable experience; I just did not want to be around all those people pretending to love me, while I was convinced that they didn’t.

Never did I consider that they may be loving me the best they knew how. I felt very alone. I was unhappy, yet I wasn’t reflecting on the fact that my unhappiness could be connected to this critical and unforgiving attitude I had.

Somehow, God got it through my thick skull that as long as I kept praying and reading the Bible, I would eventually find the peace I knew He wanted for me. After a while God revealed to me that I was missing something – namely His purpose and calling for me. My general distrust in people was jabbing was away at any effectiveness I could have representing Christ to others. He hadn’t called me to be the bitter woman I was becoming. He wanted more for me than barely surviving on each Sunday’s message, choked off from the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I got on my knees – on my face – and prayed and wept, and God began to forgive my pride and heal my bitterness. My eyes opened wide to my sin, and God gave to me the precious gift of a repentant heart. I was aware of the forgiveness that was available to me as a direct result of me forgiving others. Forgiving people who had hurt me and forgiving myself for how I acted in return, is an experience I will treasure always. Because truly, I was not free, and I had not been living until I was forgiven by Christ, who shed his blood for me.

That experience taught me something I thought I already knew: I cannot do Christianity on my own terms. Now that I had learned this lesson of forgiveness, it was clear that over the past few years, I had been settling for status quo Christianity, and I wanted a change. God called me to rise up, to be a woman of prayer, to give Him my all – and stop thinking I have to handle everything on my own. The only way I was going to feel alive again was through prayer and complete devotion to Him. For His great sacrifice of giving His son to die for my sins, I can give nothing less.

Instead of living for my own happiness, I want to be used by God to represent His shining light to people around me. I want my life to reflect God’s love. I have learned the beauty of loving people where they are at, and not expecting others to be perfect – anymore than I am perfect. It is not my place to judge anyone else, or his or her walk with God, but to place my trust in Him.

Andrew and I came together in prayer as we sought God for wisdom, grace and direction. He led us back to Woodlawn, the church we had left a couple years before. I was a very good thing.
I am so thankful God grabbed hold of us when He did. We have seen the power of prayer in our finances, in our children, in our relationships, and in our faith as it increases more than we could have thought possible. We were experiencing some serious financial struggles not too long ago and we prayed, and mediated on scriptures, and God blew away our expectations again and again.

And it’s all because of the power of prayer. When we are people of prayer, God can work in us and through us. The more I learn of his Grace, the more desperate I become for Him to use me.
I want to end with a scripture that has been on my mind the past couple weeks: Matt. 16:24-25 'Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.' Amen!"

God is so holy, so good.